Holidays are often lost on the incarcerated, memories of a time lost that many may never find again.  Often, I find myself saddened by a cheerful Christmas spirit, or thoughts of a Thanksgiving feast, sad because right now I can only pretend that not being with loved ones and family doesn’t hurt, knowing they are missing me too.

Yet, I find myself celebrating a more unorthodox day, my own little holiday.  It may be meaningless to most, but it means the world to me.  I have found a day I will always celebrate, a day I can smile for, a day that I take stock of all that I am grateful for. On that day, I always eat a big meal of whatever I can scrounge out of my box, all with great joy and happiness. 

What is this day I find solace in?  To that I say – what comes after a sentence?  For many of us, the correct answer is appeals.   My special day of celebration is connected to my appeals.  It is a day that gave me another chance at life.  I won my 35(c) Ineffective Assistance of Counsel and my Rule 33 Motion For A New Trial on December 29, 2017.  This is my Christmas, my New Year, all my holidays rolled into one. 

I won’t poison my celebration with all the legalities, the ‘should haves’, ‘what ifs’ and everything else that I might not still agree with.  I don’t want to take away from or diminish my special holiday in any way. All that matters to me is that on December 29, 2017, my 198 year prison sentence had the door opened, and I was given a chance at life again.  Turning 198 years into twenty is something worth celebrating, let me tell you.

Due to my newly found personal holiday, maybe the orthodox holidays will some day feel special again.  Maybe one day I will be ‘that guy’ with the annoying overly cheerful Christmas spirit, or have a Thanksgiving feast, and maybe some day somebody will make me their Valentine.  One day, I’ll be able to draw designs in the air with sparklers and hide  Easter eggs in the neighborhood.

One day, I’ll be able to do all of that, but for me, my favorite holiday will always be Elation Day, December 29.