I’ve spent almost half my life here. During that time, I’ve done everything possible to return home – to leave this place and return to society. I’ve abandoned fear, anger, bad feelings, all in search of the way – my own walk.
It’s not necessarily a religious or spiritual walk, although I believe in God and the Bible and wish I were more pious and connected. I strive for that every day. I realize that God is responsible for every single person in my life at this moment, and for that, I feel blessed. I’ve never felt as connected to the world in which I hope to return some day. I’ve made friends, and some are like family.
When I came to prison though, I lost everyone I ever cared about and loved. I think that happens to a lot of people here. It’s taken twenty-three years to build bridges back to my former life. Those bridges may be fewer, but they are sturdier and more structurally sound than they were before. I hope to walk across them some day.
I believe that is the point of incarceration. There are a lot of things wrong here, but the time here has gotten me to this place. It wasn’t just prison though. I’ve had the help of advocacy groups. Most of those are made up of individuals concerned about the welfare and treatment of prisoners, and they give and give and give until they cannot give any longer – and then they still give.
They want change. They are tireless. They don’t ask me or those they help to explain what they have done to get here. We know what we have done to get here. They show us how forgiveness can heal. They help us forgive ourselves. They help us see we have value and potential. They let us know we are worthy of care. They change our lives. The good ones – they just care. They care and expect nothing in return. They walk beside us while we try to come to terms with what we have done to get here. Or – for others – while they come to terms with being wrongly convicted or overly sentenced.
And when we do walk across the bridges we try to build while we are here, we do it with all those who helped us along the way.
Anybody who knows me, knows I don’t write to bring attention to myself. I don’t consider myself an expert on anything except my own personal experiences. I write to bring attention to the circumstances here, so others who aren’t able to write will be heard. I write hoping to have a hand in ending their pain and suffering.
I don’t write to make a fortune. I don’t write to be rich in wealth and prosperity. I write to be rich in the comfort and well being of others. I’ve taken a page from the book of those advocates who have spoken for me.
I live in a Texas prison where many say they send the old and sick inmates to die. It’s what some might call a prison nursing home, but nothing like a free world nursing home. It is for these folks I write. I write for change. I write for justice. I write for love.
Not all advocacy groups are the same. I’ve experienced that personally, but I’m grateful to those that have helped me get to this spot in my walk.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR. Shipwrecked and found. John is currently doing a two-year set off, after 25 years of incarceration. He is a frequent contributor as well as the author of Life Between The Bars, a unique and heartwarming memoir. John can be contacted at:
John Green #671771
C.T. Terrell Unit A150
1300 FM655
Rosharon, TX 77583
