There are 1,200 inmates here on the Ramsey Unit, and with few exceptions, we are a well-behaved group. For the most part, those with violent pasts have learned their lesson and appreciate their civilized surroundings. Those who have spent their lives in prison have finally found the best home. Many of these career boys do not want to leave. They are thoroughly institutionalized and cannot function on the outside. A warm bed, three meals a day, healthcare – how could they possibly top this on the streets?
I’m not implying this is a pleasant place. It is not. There are many men like me who never dreamed they would fall so hard and so many cruel twists in a long prison term. One of those twists is being slowly forgotten by the world and those you love and need. The mail, which arrived in bundles during the early months, gradually trickles down to one or two letters a week, until they stop altogether. The letters mean so much to us. They are a lifeline to the world.
How do you survive years in prison? You don’t think about years, or months, or weeks. You think about today, how to get through it and survive it. When you wake up tomorrow, another day is behind you. The days add up. The weeks run together. The months become years. You realize how tough you are, how you can function and survive because you have no other choice.
I find the low levels of literacy among the prison population depressing. Blacks, whites, browns – it doesn’t matter. So many of these guys can barely read and write. It makes you wonder what’s happening in our educational system – and is this the result?
I know that I can’t fix the educational system, nor the legal, judicial or prison systems. But I can dream my contribution to the fight will one day make a change. In the meantime, I survive one day at a time, and in doing so, maintain as much self-respect and dignity as possible because I will never become institutionalized.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR. John Saenz is a talented writer with a smooth, honest style, and I hope to share more of his work. He is serving a Life Sentence in Texas and can be contacted at:
John A. Saenz #1113101
Ramsey Unit
1100 FM 655
Rosharon, TX 77583
