A cell within a prison, a closet within an asylum. The Can, The Bing, The Box. Separation from a society that is locked away from a society. For some it’s hell, for others – just a room.
The walls don’t respond, sometimes closing in along with claustrophobic anxiety. Emotions trapped safely away for a person’s mental stability pound on the walls of a mind, searching for a way in. Guilt can seep through, unwanted reflections, as well as thoughts of all those things never done. The hurt, pain, anger, deception and humiliation caused can be haunting, just as are thoughts of family and friends lost. The questions sometimes arise – ‘What am I even here for? What more do I have to live for?’
I would go crazy if not for my radio, a few magazines and an ink pen. I hoard at least one item off each tray so I don’t go hungry at night and develop daily physical and spiritual routines to survive. It doesn’t help that the guy on my left won’t stop banging on his toilet with a battery, or the guy on the right is busy making a concoction to melt your soul if he decides to toss it on you the first chance he gets. More than likely, an officer denied him an extra breakfast tray or wrote him up for fishing kill shots on a line from his neighbor.
The Hole is designed for mental destruction and more often than not – succeeds. But me, I found freedom in The Hole. I discovered a talent I never knew I had and learned who I am as a person and a man. I learned how to master my strengths and acknowledge my flaws. I learned knowledge of ‘self’ and how to accept all of me and what I’ve become without the negativity of anyone’s opinions. For many, The Hole can be Hell, to others, it’s just a room.
ABOUT THE WRITER. Terrell Williams is new to WITS and contacted us because of his love of writing and a desire to share his thoughts with us and the world. His hope is that his writing will reach one person, touch one path, and do a measure of good. That is a common goal here.
You can contact Terrell at:
Terrell Williams #1000054
307 Craft Drive
Winston Salem, NC 27105
You can also reach Terrell through textbehind.com.
