I’ve had an infection over my front right top tooth – #8 – for two weeks.  I tried cutting it open myself with a razor blade and a needle.  Nothing worked, so I had to go to dental.

At dental I was told #8 had to either be extracted or a root canal needed to be done.  The co-pay was a hundred dollars.  I couldn’t afford to have them taking money out of my account.  I just cannot live on $10 a month.  I felt so ashamed telling them, “No, I cannot afford to have the debt.”  I felt irresponsible and ‘old me’.

It kept swelling.  The longer the wait, the less likely the root canal would work. I went back to my cell and cried  – HATING this life.  HATING the choices remaining to me.

The dentist had looked at me like I was stupid, like, “Well, what can you expect?”

It hurts.  I’m NOT what they see us all as.  I’m NOT irresponsible.  I’m NOT stupid.

And, I don’t want to lose my front tooth!  But if I wait and let it get so severely infected that it’s considered ‘life threatening’, they’ll pull it for free…  Am I pathetic for even considering this? 

So.   I refused treatment.  Maybe I can get an antibiotic from another inmate.  It will be intended to treat something else, so might not work, but I’ll get them for a dollar or two.

My life is pathetic.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jeremy Robinson is author of The Monster Factory and is currently working on several projects. He can be contacted at:
Jeremy Robinson #1313930
Polunsky Unit
3872 South FM 350
Livingston, TX 77351