Forgiveness was something I had to learn in order to move forward.  It took me a while to realize, I also had to forgive myself.  For too long, I kept punishing myself for my failure, for my loss, and for not being a better man.  Unfortunately, the more I punished myself the more I messed up my life.   I was stuck in a self-destructive cycle that kept me from being a better person. 

I’ve forgiven myself, and I’m working to become a better person – someone deserving of the forgiveness and trust of my loved ones and the people I’ve hurt.  There’s no way I can change my past, nor erase my misdeeds, but I can work towards a better future and keep my lessons in mind so I don’t fall back into that self-destructive mentality.  I know it won’t be easy and it has not been easy, but I can only take it a day at a time and pray I’m strong enough to not stumble.  If I do, I hope to have the fortitude to stand back up.  This journey has not been easy, but I have learned and have been blessed to have many good people on the way that have shown me that I can earn the trust and respect of people by my actions without being judged solely for my past. 

Though I have many regrets, my faith and hope in a better future help me stay strong and not give up.  There’s a long road ahead of me, and I can only keep going and learning.  Forgiving myself and forgiving the people who have wronged me has prepared me to start on this road to redemption.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:  Jorge Garcia is a poet and currently working on his first book.  He can be contacted at:
Jorge Garcia #1372972
McConnell Unit
3001 S. Emily Drive
Beeville, TX  78102