When I became incarcerated at seventeen, I didn’t know what to expect.  I had no idea how to do this thing called being an adult, much less being an adult in prison.  I was worried and a bit scared to be honest.  I didn’t know anyone who had ever been locked up, and the movies made it all seem terrifying.  At one point early on, I was sure I would die in here, and with a 48-year sentence, that seemed likely.

Once I got to prison, however, I quickly realized it was nothing like the movies.  For me, it felt more like high school.  Everyone seemed to be worried about getting a girlfriend, going to GED or vocational classes, or catching rec time to play softball.  Since I was only eighteen at the time, I didn’t much worry about the education part.  I got my GED at the jail and that was sufficient for me.  So I focused on chasing girls and going to rec.  I did that for a few years until someone recommended I try to get the college scholarship offered here.  They believed in me, so I decided, why not?  Most people didn’t get it their first time anyway.  But I did.  I got accepted into college with a full scholarship for an Associate’s Degree.  Maybe there was something to this education thing… 

I moved into the college wing and that’s when life changed.  I was surrounded by positive people, all pursuing an education.  In the midst of it all though, one person stood out.  Her name was Turtle.  At the time I met her, she had been locked up for eighteen years, serving a Life plus 20-year sentence without the possibility of parole.  She had been incarcerated since she was eighteen years old.  Her daughter was just five when she entered the system.  Meeting Turtle was like meeting a mythical creature.   Everyone knew her story and who she was – and now I was living with her.  At just five feet tall, she didn’t seem like she would be intimidating, but she was, and I was a little nervous to speak to her.  But then she came up to me and offered to help me get a job.  Huh?  I was shocked.  Getting a job hadn’t even been a thought for me.  

I quickly got to know Turtle, and the more I knew, the more she amazed me.  She was raised in a severely abusive household and kicked out at age 12 for being gay.  She got pregnant with her daughter at thirteen and survived on the streets with an infant until she became incarcerated at age eighteen.  She was also illiterate when she got locked up, not knowing how to read or write, but the woman standing in front of me in 2015 was just two classes away from an Associate’s Degree.  Turtle had also completed multiple vocational programs, too many to count really, and led a Celebrate Recovery program, helping others to heal from trauma.  As if her accomplishments inside weren’t enough, from behind bars she also raised an amazing daughter who grew into an amazing woman.  She parented over the phone, through letters, and in the visitation room.  The bond she has with her child is unlike anything I have seen in here.  

It has been almost ten years since Turtle and I first met, and she has continued to amaze and inspire me.  She now has two granddaughters that she is active with who love their Grams so much.  Her daughter is a 32-year-old widow who is just as strong as her mother taught her to be.  Turtle now facilitates multiple programs including three substance abuse groups, anger management, and Beyond Violence.  She is just two classes away from a Bachelor’s Degree and is a mentor in the Prison Fellowship Program.  She is also one of my best friends.  Turtle is the reason I have become who I am.  She taught me not just how to do my time but to build a better life, be a better person, and how to have hope in a hopeless situation.  I owe my life and the freedom I will one day have to Turtle.  I know I am not the only one she has helped.  Countless people talk to her every day about getting into her classes and how they can be better.  If anyone in prison deserves a chance at freedom it is her.  But guess what?  That isn’t her goal.  Her mission is to be the best she can while in here.  She has always just wanted to help those around her.  I am so proud of my friend who learned her ABC’s, got her GED, and earned her college degree all in one little prison classroom.  If that isn’t resilience, I don’t know what is.  

ABOUT THE WRITER.  Ashleigh placed first in our most recent writing contest with this essay. She not only wrote a beautiful piece, she also answered the prompt and shared the actions and life of someone who displayed inner strength. Ashleigh has written for WITS before, and I hope we hear from her again. Ashleigh can be contacted at:

Ashleigh Dye #1454863
Fluvanna Correctional Center for Women
144 Prison Lane
Troy, VA 22974