Lord, why did you spare me
the night I lay shot and cried out to you?
All my transgressions I laid at your feet,
yet you turned not away from my spirit.
Now my troubles are imminent death
in the form of state sanctioned execution.
I have counted the faces of those gone down
in the chamber, their legacy left untold.
I, too, am slated for an unrighteous death,
Will anonymity mark my grave?
Am I forgotten, Lord, or just forsaken
and no longer worthy of your care?
I am deemed lowly and unfit
by those who call on your name.
There was a time when your mark laid heavily on me
and I was overwhelmed by your grace.
Now you give favor to my closest friends
and made me a victim of their deceit.
Even my thoughts are shackled and confined
to a chasm erected from anguish.
I have searched for your comfort in every way
and turned up only disaster and dread.
Do broken spirits make it into heaven?
Does my tongue spew curses of thee or sing praise?
Is repentance best served as a dying declaration
and faithfulness a daily chore?
Is there a path to eternity from Death Row,
a place set on misery and darkness?
And still, God, I trust in you,
hear my prayer when the morning comes.
Reject me not before I am called to your judgment
but find mercy in my shortcomings.
From bosom to bowels you have shielded me
when I was close to death.
From your will I strayed to worldly desires
and was left with my shame to bear.
My anger is of my own doing
my faithlessness was my doom.
I am trodden under the heels of my enemies
but in you, Lord, I am redeemed.
You have given me the way to enter your kingdom,
your glory is my salvation.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Terry Robinson writes under the pen name ‘Chanton’, is a member of the Board of Directors of WITS, and heads up a book club on NC’s Death Row. He is an author who has found purpose not only in his love of writing, but also in lending his voice to those who cannot speak for themselves. Because he is an innocent man on death row, his gift of expressing himself and his experiences through the written word is invaluable in raising awareness of issues within the criminal justice system. The ease with which he was put on Death Row for over two decades, in contrast to the struggle to undo an injustice is what his life examplifies and he shares that experience with grace and eloquence like no other could.
Terry continues to work on his memoirs, as well as a book of fiction, and he can be contacted at:
Terry Robinson #0349019
Central Prison
4285 Mail Service Center
Raleigh, NC 27699-4285